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Friday, August 14, 2015

Movie Review- Fantastic Four 2015

Mr. Richards, we know exactly how you feel.

Introduction

The Fantastic Four have never been an appealing superhero team to me. There, I said it. There's just something about their look and dynamic that doesn't blow my skirt up (If I wore one. Okay, sometimes after a few appletinis and a Bridget Jones marathon.). Seeing them in comic and animation form never worked for me. Even their first theatrical live action film in 2005 left much to be desired. Of course, that year had its good share of disappointments (Elektra, Son of the Mask, Stealth, George W. Bush starts 2nd term). Although the first F.F. had its problems to be sure, it still had a couple of things going for it; The comical banter between Chris Evans' Johnny Storm and Michael Chiklis' Ben Grimm. They made that film watchable. In 2007, I was actually enthusiastic about Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. If anyone could uplift the series, it had to be from the coolest chromed kahuna to ever cruise the cosmos, right? Wrong. As before, we were subjected to a mediocre action film made only tolerable by The Human Torch and The Thing. God, even the all powerful Galactus was reduced to a giant fart cloud reminiscent of the last Nutty Professor film. I own both of those two F.F. movies on DVD and I can't recall when I've ever watched them since unwrapping them from their annoying plastic wrappings. In fact, why in the hell do I own those films anyway? I think I bought those at a time when I was buying movies just to buy them. Out of sheer boredom probably. I did the same thing with the Saw and Underworld films too. No wonder they keep making these shitty movies. Idiots like me keep buying them!

Fantastic Four

Director Josh Trank (Chronicle), bestows upon us his grand vision of the classic quartet. It's a mixture of alternate histories from the comics yet, nothing seems to gel properly. What's so strange about his film Fantastic Four, is that it starts off as a decent movie. Trank has an ability to get you interested in his characters without delving into them very deeply or even at all. The first third of the film is an opposite to the rest of it all. Most of the Characters are interesting, there's a light-hearted sense of humor and, everything goes down smoothly (for the most part). Then it all goes wrong somehow. This is a superhero movie that plays better when there's no superheroes involved. Don't worry, I'm confused as well. Once the events set into the motion that will forever change our young heroes, the story, the visual effects, and even the characters, gets lazy. It seems like Trank and/or the studio, just wanted to get things over with with as little an effort as possible. To be honest, no matter how many visuals that they throw at us, it doesn't cover up the fact that this movie is boring and nowhere near 'fantastic'.
Miles Teller (Project X) as Reed Richards, brings a comfortable innocence to the role that's more tolerable than in the previous F.F. films. Jamie Bell (King Kong) as Ben Grimm, is mostly quiet in the role and speaks more behind a CG face than in regular. Michael B.Jordan (Chronicle) as Johnny Storm, is energetic and fun to watch, but even his character eventually gets held back by the story. Kate Mara (House of Cards) as Sue Storm, is as boring and lifeless as this movie. She has little more to do than just nod in approval at her father's advice, and shows how much enthusiasm she has for this film by wearing earphones and ignoring everyone. Reg E. Cathey (House of Cards) as Johnny's and Sue's father Dr. Storm, is a welcome presence as the 'wise old man' but, is ultimately wasted by the fate of his character, which seems to only happen only for the sake of motivating the others. The biggest disappointment comes from Toby Kebbell's (RocknRolla) Dr. Doom. Kebbell is a very good actor but, his character is held back by a poorly written part that wallows in unnecessary cliche. He's supposed to become one of the most feared villains in the Marvel universe but instead, he's relegated to being a bitter, love struck, pessimist, that grunts and groans in disapproval. When he does become Dr. Doom, no one cares. Why should we? The effort wasn't put into building him up properly anyway.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, of Fantastic Four

The Good- Doom's attack at the military facility gets a little bloodier than I thought that a PG-13 rated film would allow.
The Bad- The Thing's motion capture; Cheap and doesn't sync up properly next to the other characters. The Human Torch's CG; Looked partially rendered like test footage on a home computer.
The Ugly- If the guy who made the film goes onto Twitter the day before its release and hammers it, that's got to send up some red flags.

Final Thoughts on Fantastic Four

Do not go see Fantastic Four. You'll be so bored that you'll probably pass the time by playing with your phone, or trimming your nose hair, or planning your next trip to the bank. It's okay though. Everyone else will be doing something similar. This movie makes the two previous films look like classic family entertainment. I never thought that that was even possible. Please Twentieth Century Fox, give the rights back to Marvel and let them do what they do best; Which is making a better Marvel movie than you can.
Rating- 3 out of 10
Running Time- 100 Minutes
Comic Book/Science Fiction/Action

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