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Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Movie Review- Hotel Transylvania 2

Selena Gomez, Adam Sandler, and Andy Samberg, each express my feelings toward, Hotel Transylvania 2


Introduction

Sequels to successful animated franchises have been inevitable for some time now. That's how the industry is today (and for some time back). Sure they've always been about the money but, the art was more respected and there were plenty of fresh ideas to throw around. The industry whore of old was elegant and subtle, while today's whore is all flash, no substance, and usually leaves a bad taste in your mouth. There's some obvious sequels out there that scream shameless moneymaker to the rooftops. The worst in my opinion are from those big studios that can afford to put more effort into their empty product but choose not to. To hell with longevity when a quarterly report is just as important (and temporary) as a Nicki Minaj Top 10 hit (more like, splat). They seem to win every time; The studio makes a ton of money, and the ticket buyers soon forget about that soulless waste and move on to the next new thing. Worth mentioning are animated sequels like Shrek the Third, Cars 2, Rio 2, and whatever latest Ice Age is out. Can anyone truly remember much if anything about those films? Didn't think so. There are some sequels that I would love to see though. I've wanted a new Incredibles film for almost a decade now. You know what? For that last decade, the makers of that film have been nagged countless times about some Incredibles sequels and, they've always responded that if the story is right, the sequel will come. Imagine if they had just sold out and kept pumping out another film every two to three years. Wouldn't seem that 'Incredible' then, would it?

Hotel Transylvania 2

Hotel Transylvania 2 is another film to add to that list (How could you tell?^^^^^). Now before anybody assumes that I'm just going to go on another anti-Adam Sandler rant, I'm not. He shows much more energy and spark of life as an undead animated bloodsucker in this than anything live-action these days. No, the problem is that this film is an uneven continuation that can't even keep its own sense of morality balanced. Most of the jokes fall flat and, the ones that do work are giggle inducing at best. I will give props to the animation though. Money can't buy you depth but it sure can by you some bling. I didn't expect much from this film anyway however, I did hope that the story would amount to more than just a selfish tug of war between a grandfather and mother. That's what this movie boils down to; Two guardians that put their own personal agendas above the wants and needs of their grandchild, with some bloodless monster goofiness thrown in as a distraction. What I wish, is that films like this could just entertain us and not always try to have some "Full House" style moral payoff. Besides, monster shenanigans are more interesting than an awww track.
Aside from the main cast of Sandler (Pixels), Andy Samberg (That's My Boy), Selena Gomez (Spring Breakers), Asher Blinkoff (The Jungle Book 2016), Kevin James (Grown Ups), Steve Buscemi (Mr. Deeds), David Spade (Jack & Jill), and Keegan-Michael Key (Vacation), the supporting cast of Mel Brooks (Dracula: Dead and Loving It), Fran Drescher (Jack), Molly Shannon (Superstar), Nick Offerman (21 Jump Street), Megan Mullally (Will & Grace), Dana Carvey (The Master of Disguise), Rob Riggle (Let's Be Cops), Jon Lovitz (The Wedding Singer), Chris Parnell (Hot Rod), and Robert Smigel (You Don't Mess with the Zohan), get anywhere from a line to no more than a couple of paragraphs of dialogue each (Longest sentence ever. Look, it's still going.......................). And thank goodness for that. Major points for only giving Drescher one thing to say for the entire film. Her voice is still annoying. I fault none of the actors for their mostly boring performances. It's just that the writing wasn't anything special. I found myself bored more than a few times. This movie uses almost as much filler as I've used for this review.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, of Hotel Transylvania 2

The Good- Grandpa dancing lessons, nipple-twisting the Invisible Man, crazy little werewolves, Mummy spell casting, political correctness at Vamp Camp, the flying test, and everything Blob; Go figure, the character with absolutely zero dialogue, has all the best scenes.
The Bad- A film that tries so hard to point out that being yourself is most important, sure drops the ball when it comes to its happy conclusion. Did everyone just forget what had happened previously before everything conveniently worked itself out? I'm not buying it. But I did buy the ticket. Dammit!
The Ugly- Was Cee-Lo Green replaced as the Mummy because of his unsavory ethics or, did the studio just want to stay away from the bad press? We all know the answer. I just wanted to put it out there.

Final Thoughts on Hotel Transylvania 2

Aside from some gorgeous animation and a few amusing moments, Hotel Transylvania 2 is nothing better than a straight-to-video release the likes of The Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea or any of the Land Before Time non-theatrical films. Your kids will probably not the know the difference and will likely love it anyways. On the other hand, you as an adult should know better. I bet you also feed your kids dollar menu poison just for the convenience of not having to boil a box of mac & cheese, so that you can continue to watch the latest hunt for Bigfoot uninterrupted in your La-Z-Boy huh, you horrible parent and human being? Point is, don't go see this movie unless you like being labeled as a terrible role model. Look how the Lohans turned out; They made their kids watch all of those dumb singing dinosaur films.
(mic drop)
Rating- 3.5 out of 10
Running Time- 89 Minutes
Family/Animated/Comedy

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Joe Speigle  

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