Sunday, November 1, 2015

Movie Review- The Last Witch Hunter

Yeah Vin, we're also wondering why you picked this film.


Introduction

I have been aboard the Vin Diesel fan train for quite awhile now. Films like Pitch Black, Boiler Room, The Fast and the Furious, Knockaround Guys, and XXX, showed that he had the range and screen presence to be the next big action star. Then something odd happened, his Hollywood credit rose and he started to appear in a strange mix of films; The dark and heavy A Man Apart (2003), the over-bloated The Chronicles of Riddick (2004), the family friendly The Pacifier (2005), the good but out of place Find Me Guilty (2006), and the boring and pointless Babylon A.D. (2008). For that time, it seemed almost as if he picked the films that interested him and less what interested his fans. More power to him for doing what he wants but as a fan, I wish he could have picked some better scripts. Nowadays, it looks like he's been catering to the Fast & Furious crowds above all else. Personally, I'd like to see Xander Cage (XXX) and Riddick again. Let Dominic Toretto take a break. Whether you love him or hate him, Vin Diesel's stardom has been an odd one to say the least and he's got plenty more of odd decision making left in him.

The Last Witch Hunter

What seemed like a good idea in concept but entirely wasted in execution, is The Last Witch Hunter. Sure Vinny likes to play Dungeons and Dragons but, can he carry a film that's collapsing all around him? This film is unstable with some big edits and chopped up storytelling. Can I blame Vin? Not really, but his character is poorly written as well. He's calm, he's irate, he's understanding, he's confused, he's cool, and he's boring. Confused? Well so am I. Maybe if the script hadn't been rewritten multiple times we could have seen a decent action film, instead we get a beardless Vin in modern day New York City occasionally flashbacking to the medieval times. Those times actually work and if told in the proper order instead of as a cinematic puzzle, this movie could have been better. Going back to concept; When Diesel showed us the concept art on his Facebook page a couple of years ago, it piqued my and many others' interests. Some of those concepts made it into the film such as, backgrounds, witch & monster designs, and costumes. Those were cool yet, when a film can't stand on its own two feet and tries to be a bunch of other films (Raiders of the Lost Ark, Constantine, Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, etc.), there's nothing special left over.
The other characters are also poorly written and boring as well. Rose Leslie (Game of Thrones) as Vin's sidekick, is overly judgmental even past the point of rational thought. Michael Caine (Children of Men) is now appearing in films as the white Morgan Freeman (Bruce Almighty). You know, the old man with a kick in his step that gives the best advice. His appearance in this film comes off as little more than a validation cameo. The worst character though is from Elijah Wood (North). Why was he in this film again? Oh that's right, to be the human incarnation of unflavored oatmeal. His little "twist" at the film's end is as exciting and original as the latest bird migration report. Is there anybody else? Not even worth mentioning.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly of The Last Witch Hunter

The Good- Vin made plenty of money off of Furious 7 so, he'll be okay.
The Bad- My lack of enthusiasm for this review.
The Ugly- There was a reason that this movie was on the 2010 Blacklist for unused scripts.

Final Thoughts on The Last Witch Hunter

Hopefully, this will be the last Witch Hunter film that they make. Sorry, I would write more about this movie but, I have a life to live and I refuse to spend anymore of that time dealing with this completely forgettable film. There's not much worse this year. Seventh Son was bad too but at least there was some fun action. This film is cinematic sleeping pills. Goodnight. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Rating- 2.5 out of 10
Running Time- 106 Minutes
Fantasy/Action

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