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Thursday, February 11, 2016

Piece Of Shit or Not - Marvel's Deadpool

This is a picture of Dead Pool. But in yellow.

Marvel's Deadpool


Joe's Take-

The wait is nearly over and Ryan Reynolds (Waiting) has the golden opportunity to right the wrong of that horribly blasphemous version of Deadpool from that weak ass Wolverine spinoff. Will he do it? Fuck yes he will! To prove it, he's got T.J. Miller (Cloverfield), a wisecracking blind old lady who looks like Uhura from Star Trek, a beefier version of Colossus, and a text crazy emo chick named Negasonic Teenage Warhead, to back up every katana wielding acrobatic takedown and sarcastic remark that he's going to spew on the audience. Ratings don't matter, fourth walls don't matter, and Wade Wilson will have his revenge! There's the old "damsel in distress" subplot, but somehow it will still kick ass because Deadpool won't let it be any other way. We'll all be emphatically pumped while DMX's "X Gon' Give It To Ya" is humping our ears during the carnage. How many insults will Miller make about Wilson's cancerous avocado face before I piss myself? How high will the body count be? And most importantly, how many chimichangas can a Deadpool eat before he has to pause the movie for a bathroom break? All questions will be answered and the crowd will be howling for more. Finally Fox has the balls to present this no holds barred antihero in the way that can only be told without sealed mouths and PG-13 barriers to hold him back. The trailers still give me goose bumps. There's no possible way that this is going to suck. I think.

My Prediction- The only piece of shit that we'll see about Deadpool, is what's going to be dumping into the guy with the brown pants'...pants, after he's so easily dispatched with a corkscrew flip and a spandex covered grin. Good Night!




Mike

When the test footage of Deadpool leaked a while back, everyone got a superhero boner and talked about how an "R" rated superhero movie would actually work. Apparently the fan noise was loud enough that the studio actually listened and BAM! Deadpool the movie was born. Everything about this movie, from the marketing to the promotional videos on Jimmy Fallon and Yahoo!, to the fake clickbait website (clickpool.com) has been perfect. It's funny, it doesn't give away the movie and it leaves you wanting more. Which I believe this movie will do. It will leave you wanting more from these guys. As long as there are no hot wheels play tracks, weird ginormous headed "Mask" look-a-likes or weird alien tentacle ships attacking a city (Green Lantern, Transformers, The Avengers, Transformers Save Chicago, Transformers VS, Mechanical Tentacle Weiners) or it resembles any of the old Marvel comics TV movies, we'll be just fine.

Verdict - Deadpool keeps his promise to remake Ryan Reynolds movies, so that they don't suck.

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