Sponsor

Breaking

Thursday, June 2, 2016

Piece Of Shit Or Not?- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows

Relax everyone! He thinks he knows what he is doing.


Joe's Take-

The Decepticons... I mean Commander Krang, is attacking the city, and our heroes in a half shell are the only one who can stop it. Well, along with the help of the Green Arrow/Casey Jones (Stephen Amell) and Megan Fox's (Jennifer's Body) superior acting skills, that is. Aside from his ally Krang, the Shredder (Mega Ginsu Edition: Only $19.95 + tax and S&H. CALL NOW!!!) has recruited Madea/Baxter Stockman (Tyler Perry, Alex Cross), to create our favorite mutant warthog and rhino couple of Beebop and Rocksteady, to irritate and slow down our green heroes. There will be bad jokes, Will Arnett (The Lego Batman Movie) whining like a white version of Kevin Hart (Ride Along), a childish story with more plot holes than a Michael Bay film (Oh...yeah), gadgets with excessive amounts of accessories, and Fox unconvincingly distracting everyone from taking her seriously as a hard-nosed reporter by dressing scantily.

My Prediction- I refuse to be fooled by my boyish hopefulness ever again! The first one sucked ass, and I see no difference this time around either. Pizza Shit? Totally dude.

Mike's Take -

Toyetic -Toyetic is a term referring to the suitability of a media property, such as a cartoon or movie, for merchandising tie-in lines of licensed toys, games and novelties.
That is all this movie is. I know, that's saying a lot and going out on a limb, but c'mon, this movie is a giant piece of shit. One shot in the trailer says it all, when Megan "Man Hands" Fox is wearing, what appears to be a school girls uniform, unbuttoning her top and tying the shirt to form like a shirt bra thing that girls do while say, sunbathing and not fighting mutants, turtles or otherwise.
We watch these movies so you don't have to!
I have no hope for this movie, it's Transformers 2 (or 3, whichever one had the metal snake penis beating up Chicago). There always seems to be something with these movies that has to do with destroying a city. Oh and why are the turtles like 7 or 8 feet tall? It's called "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" for a reason, they're supposed to be like 14, 15 or so years old and about 5 feet tall (give or take). If you listen to the commercials, they are calling them "Ninja Turtles" only. So screw this movie, screw Michael Bay and take the time to watch the animated movie TMNT, which sets the turtles up for their current excellent animated series. It's a far better experience and you'll be more entertained.

Movie Reviews - http://www.acoupleofaveragejoes.com
Twitter - http://www.twitter.com/mps5150
podcasts - http://www.soundcloud.com/diicastdotcom
Facebook - http://www.facebook.com/diicastdotcom
Joe's Versus https://www.youtube.com/c/Acoupleofaveragejoes

Instagram - A_Couple_Of_Average_Joes

No comments:

Post a Comment