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Friday, December 2, 2016

Movie Review- Bad Santa 2

Sadly, this is funnier than the entire film

"Tell me how dirty this is!"


Do you like Billy Bob Thornton as an Actor? Well I do and you should too (sounds like a PSA)! Even though I'd seen him in films like Tombstone (1993), Indecent Proposal (1993), and On Deadly Ground (1994), I hadn't noticed him until seeing him in his iconic role in Sling Blade (1996). Then roles in U-Turn (1997), Armageddon (1998), A Simple Plan (1998), and Monster's Ball (2001), made me a fan of his exceptional acting abilities. It seems like with all (or most) of his characters, that they know what's going on with that constant smirk he wears. It's like he's in on some joke that we haven't figured out yet. Memorable roles in The Ice Harvest (2005) and the first season of Fargo the television series, are among my favorite works of his. But let's not forget the one that made us love the asshole that he's so damned good at playing; Bad Santa.

Bad Santa 2


B.B.T. has that same smirk on his face in Bad Santa 2. But this time we're (the audience) in on the joke too, which is that this movie is not worth waiting thirteen years for, let alone spending nearly thirteen dollars on for a ticket. Take almost the same plot and characters from 2003, remove the sadistic charm, replace it with bitter depravity, and merry f*ckin Christmas. Even the intro title sequence is done in a shitty sequel style. For every actual funny moment, there's ten oppositely bad jokes that fall flat on their faces. Occasionally there's a spark of the original's flavor, yet don't hold onto your red and green nipple clamps, because the truest insult is not walking out of the theater, it's the hope of things getting better. They won't.

Thornton's heart is kind of in this, if you believe that one moment he kind of cares, and then the next he kind of doesn't. It's like the rest of the film got worse in quality, and Thornton couldn't keep up with how deplorable everyone around him gets. Tony Cox (Friday) returns and gives as good as he gets, yet seeing a foulmouthed dwarf get used as the butt of many jokes, gets old and sad fairly quickly. Kathy Bates (About Schmidt) is brought in to shock us with the sight of an actress of her award winning caliber, getting down in the mud and dropping F-bombs. It wasn't funny in the trailers, and it sure isn't funny for ninety damn minutes. Brett Kelly's (Trick'r Treat) return as Thurman Merman is like a diamond dropped into a dimly lit porta-potty; There's an occasional glimmer, but all of the fecal stank taints even him. Kind of like a shitty version of Elf (2003).

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, of Bad Santa 2


The Good- The negro Land of Oz joke, the electric oven suicide attempt, Thurman sings for Willie, and the teabag Instagram that's funny until it's not.

The Bad- The poor excuse for a security guard that's supposed to take the place of Bernie Mac's (Guess Who) from part 1, is so pathetic that I refuse to even mention the actors name.

The Ugly- After seeing her performance in this film, I'm starting to believe that Christina Hendricks (Drive) is only used as eye candy and not as a serious actress. All that she does in Bad Santa 2, is put herself in raunchy positions for Thornton's repulsive character to bang her in. There is no talent there. Just sadness.

Final Thoughts


Is it strange that the initials for Bad Santa are "BS"? I would say it's twice the bullshit, except part 1 was awesome. This sequel is so bad (How bad is it?!), that it makes Dumb and Dumber Too look like the top selection at the Cannes Film Festival. I should have saved my money, and donated to a charity instead. Nevermind, I can't rely on the quality of those either. In the words of Ebenezer Scrooge, "Bah! Handjob!".
Rating- 1.5 out of 10


Bad Santa 2 (2016)


R | 1h 32min | Comedy, Crime, Drama | 23 November 2016 (USA)

Fueled by cheap whiskey, greed and hatred, Willie teams up once again with his angry little sidekick, Marcus, to knock off a Chicago charity on Christmas Eve.


Director: Mark Waters
Writers: Johnny Rosenthal, Shauna Cross
Stars: Billy Bob Thornton, Kathy Bates, Tony Cox

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