Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Movie Review- Resident Evil: The Final Chapter

When is somebody going to clean all of this shit up?! It's been filthy for like six films already.

"Humanity will cease to exist, unless you return to The Hive."

Does anyone over the age of thirty actually believe that when a movie, book, video game, musical artist, or TV series, says that it's the final chapter, that it's true? Just ask fifty year old rapper Too $hort about his "last album" from 1996. He's made more albums since that statement than before it. And can anyone recall how many final tours The Rolling Stones have had in the last three decades? Was Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare, Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (then four films later, Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday), Five Nights at Freddy's Part 4, and quite possibly Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows, the final chapter in their series? Sorry entertainment world, but when you say "last", most of us think, " until the next one".

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter

As a huge fan of the original game and a few of its sequels (before the story lines got away from themselves), I've always had a touch of boyish optimism when it came to a new release in the film series. But that optimism is always short lived. This series has strayed so far away from the original, that the very imperfect first film from 2002 looks more and more authentic as time goes by. Besides zombies, the only constant in the series has been with Milla Jovovich's (The Fifth Element) Alice. Every plot and character can be discarded as quickly as a new sequel premiers. Resident Evil: The Final Chapter has the same problems as before. Only this time, there's now five previous films to back up its inconsistencies. This new (and "final") chapter starts off by using a couple of lines of narration, to callously explain that everyone of Alice's buddies from the end of Resident Evil: Retribution (Part 5) won't be along for this ride. Thanks for the info, and once again making me root for people that the film makers don't even care enough about to re-sign, for some loyal consistency to show to the fans. The action at times is fast paced and looks good, but the constant quick-edit shots during those scenes, can make your eyeballs want to reach out and pull their lids down before going into a spasms. The post-apocalyptic settings also look nicely detailed. Now if they could only figure out what to do about these characters...

Remember all of the popular characters from the games that popped up in the movies from time to time? Putting Shawn Roberts' (Land of the Dead) personality free Wesker villain aside, Ali Larter's (Heroes) Claire Redfield shows up for some reason and does nothing to improve the film's outlook. She doesn't even ask about nor mention her brother Chris from the previous films. It's like they were all some afterthought that never mattered. Instead, a handful of tertiary apocalyptic fodder shows up, says a few unmemorable lines, kills a few zombies, and is then given a tragic send off with epic music and sad stares. What!? Who the hell was that anyways?! Jovovich has had nothing relevant to say for some time now that doesn't involve destroying the Umbrella Corporation, being betrayed again, or not remembering anything. And no matter how much damage she receives, most of her face always looks camera ready. The only character that keeps things interesting, is the return of Iain Glen's (Game of Thrones) cleverly-witted Dr. Isaacs. His accent alone makes up for most of the film's bad dialogue and cliche-ridden survivor roles. The idea of these people going into The Hive from Part 1 a decade after its events, is very cool, yet almost the entire film wastes time on the surface before going down there and dealing with things that weren't there before. A slow horror approach would have been so much more scary and effective, like in the way Don't Breathe handled things. But we get mindless action instead, with yawn inducing monologues before fighting.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, of Resident Evil: The Final Chapter

The Good- The tank fights, Dr. Isaacs' "Trinity of Bitches" line, Dr. Isaacs' preemptive attack software predictions, clone envy, and the instant deaths of thousands of zombies.

The Bad- Add the plot holes from the previous films with this one's, and you got an ass ton of confusion in the writer's room, let alone the audience's attempts at trying to understand. I thought about a few of the problems and read about a bunch more, and my brain started to hurt.

The Ugly- The ending's big twist was no surprise at all, and the lead up to the end gets the old Hollywood happy b.s.. So expect Resident Evil: Sanitation Duty to be coming to a theater near you in the next few years.

Final Thoughts

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter should've been the epic conclusion to this lackluster series that we've been waiting ever so patiently for, but instead we get more of the same, and we're supposed to smile and like it. Well I am not smiling nor smirking like Jovovich in the final shot. I am unsatisfied. God, it sounds like the latest trend. If you're a fan of the films, then you'll feel right at home. To everybody else, treat it like the virus that it tries so hard to eradicate, and just stay away from it.
Rating- 3.5 out of 10

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (2016)

R | 1h 46min | Action, Horror, Sci-Fi | 27 January 2017 (USA)

Picking up immediately after the events in Resident Evil: Retribution, Alice (Milla Jovovich) is the only survivor of what was meant to be humanity's final stand against the undead. 

Director: Paul W.S. Anderson
Writer: Paul W.S. Anderson
Stars: Milla Jovovich, Iain Glen, Ali Larter 

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