Friday, January 6, 2017

Piece Of Shit Or Not?- Underworld Blood Wars

It wouldn't be Underworld without an angry pasty guy screaming in it

Joe's Take-
Although four films have been released in a little over a decade, the studio still felt the need to spend the first third of this trailer showing us flashbacks to those movies. Is it a lack of faith in the new product? The trendy insecurity of relying on the past? Well let's see; Blood Wars has the same old denim colored haze over everything, Kate Beckinsale's character has something special to offer, the Vampires and Lycans are still at each other's throats, and an epic battle is coming that will end everything. Yeah, I think I've seen this somewhere before.

My Prediction- Aside from Beckinsale's ass in some shiny black rubber, the Underworld series has always been lacking. The Rise of the Lycans (Part 3 but prequel) was okay, but I can't remember a damn thing about it. This new one looks like the same old shit but with some new faces saying the same old shit about doing the same old shit that's disguised as some new shit. Got it? Underworld: Blood Wars will be a Sucky Piece Of Lycan Poo. See, I integrated vampire and werewolf puns to fit into this thing. Let's see this big-budgeted bore-fest do anything that clever.

Mike's Take -
Underworld: Blood Wars, let's face it, the only reason most of us want to see this movie is because Kate Beckinsale is wearing that tight rubber suit and running around looking hot.
That being said, I liked the first movie. It was an interesting take on the White Wolf RPG series Vampire and Werewolf, where the players played one or the other race and fought each other. It would be cool to have seen a movie based on the Death Dealer characters, instead, we have a chosen one scenario now and it's gotten to the point where the story or the characters aren't interesting and it's the same ole, same ole.
The Lycans are after Selene's daughter's blood because she is a hybrid Lycan/Vampire and that will change everything with the war. The Lycans believe that by using her blood they will become immortal. But let's face it, that won't happen, Selene is back to fight, she'll be betrayed, she'll change again and she will become a bigger, sexier badass.
This movie is going to be a piece of shit. Because the studio just doesn't care enough to give us a good story and compelling characters.


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