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Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Piece Of Shit Or Not?- CHIPS

You see what happens when they're left out in the sun all day?




Joe's Take 
When suspected corrupt cops start hijacking armored cars on California's highways, the D.O.J. sends Michael Pena (Observe and Report) undercover as a CHP (CHIPS) officer. He gets partnered with a battered up rookie who takes just as many painkillers a day as he's got scars (Dax Shepard, Zathura). Together they get into many wild and zany situations before finally tending to our delicate roadways. Get ready for miles and miles of dick jokes and insecure masculinity.

My Prediction- This movie is so much bigger than its inspirational television series from the 70's and 80's (CHiPs), that they had to capitalize the whole title to convey the message. CHIPS is a combo of the 21 Jump Street and Super Troopers comedies that earned they're audiences by being genuinely funny. Good luck proving that with this one. Because the trailers seem so one-note in their jokes and presentation, I'll say that CHIPS will probably be a Piece Of Shit, and the only bigger insult would be to get a ticket on the ride home from seeing it.

Mike's Take -
In the early 80's there were some really good shows, at least to this, then up-and-coming 8/9/10 year old. I mean, there was Battlestar Galactica, The Dukes Of Hazzard, awesome Saturday morning cartoons, and CHiPs.
Now, CHiPs was great, to me, because it had cool locations, motorcycle chases, explosions, more motorcycle chases, and a cast of cool characters. When I heard that they were making a movie out of the TV series, I knew there was trouble in Hollywood. I've said it before and I'll say it again, Hollywood hasn't lost it's lack of creativity, the town is afraid of taking any sort of risks on ideas that won't make 100's of millions of dollars and become franchises - for the most part (ex machina, gone girl and a few others are exceptions). Unless you have a big name attached to the movie, or 4 medium sized name and a big name attached to the movie, it's probably not going to see the light of day, unless you make it an indie.
When my family moved out to California when I was 8, and because I was the biggest CHiPs fan in the world, I actually made my father pull a motorcycle cop over and get his autograph. Because, what kid didn't think that everyone in So-Cal wasn't in the movies. Especially motorcycle cops! It's only been like 38 years, and I'm pretty sure he's retired (I hope), but I'll tell you, he told that story to anyone that would listen. Wouldn't you?
Back to CHiPs - They revamped the story to make it funny (?), Ponch is not even a real cop, it's not his real name and he's more interested in getting a piece than doing any real work. Jon is an X-games X-athlete that has had so many injuries and surgeries that he's had to retire, but the money is gone, his ex-wife is a dick and now he is a cop, with bad legs, arms, hands, etc.
The highlight of the movie is Vincent D'Onofrio. Always good in any role he takes. This time we get to see him play a motorcycle cop, who may, or may not be on the take.
This preview has gone on too long. Will this be a piece of shit? Probably, I mean, look at it. Written and directed by Dax Shepard, err, Mr. Kristen Bell, starring Dax Shepard as Jon, Ponch, The villain, the love interest and all the other characters in the movie, except Kristen Bell's character. I give this movie and eye roll and an ucchh. Just like my reaction, when I first saw the trailer and said "fuck this".

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