|Even the poster for The Pyramid is meh...|
Ever since King Tut's tomb was opened over ninety years ago, fearful archeologists have left other tombs untouched and saved themselves from possible curses. Now a strange and new type of pyramid has been discovered, and with it, a new kind of fear (or the same old). Armed with a handheld camera (I'm sensing a trend), a team of modern day nosy asses attempt to break a nine decade streak of leaving well enough alone and enter THE PYRAMID!!! (DUH DUH DUH) Once inside, they encounter sand, hieroglyphics, and more sand. Oh yeah, there's a monster too. One which will inevitably pick off our modern day nosy asses one by one (black guy dies first) with each having a distinctive death scene ending with pools of their blood soaking into the sand. With everyone gone, the cute nerdy chick struggles through the darkness and sees a way to the surface. Will she make it out? Will the black guy reappear at the last possible second to stop the beast before he dies again? Will Arnold Vosloo have a cameo?
Who gives a shit? This movie looks like nothing new, nor scary. It's probably safe to say that you should stick with better hand-held horror films like, The Descent or Quarantine. Until proven otherwise, I think that The Pyramid will be laughably bad. Why in the hell is this coming out in December?
Piece of Shit?............ Piece of Mummified Shit (with the brains having been removed a long time ago)
Mike's Take -
Blair Witch Project heads to the desert to dig up an ancient pyramid. Ancient shenanigans happen, everyone dies and we're wondering why we spent the money to see this.
Piece of Shit? - yoooooou betcha
The Pyramid (2014)
R | 1h 29min | Action, Adventure, Horror | 5 December 2014 (USA)
An archaeological team attempts to unlock the secrets of a lost pyramid only to find themselves hunted by an insidious creature.
Director: Grégory Levasseur
Writers: Daniel Meersand, Nick Simon
Stars: Ashley Hinshaw, James Buckley, Denis O'Hare