Star Trek Beyond Piece Of Shit Or Not?


Star Trek Beyond Piece Of Shit Or Not?
Try not to think too hard about it

Joe's Take-
Either this film has very little plot, or the trailers aren't giving much away. After Kirk (Chris Pine, Smokin Aces) convinces his crew to trek through the stars once again (I had to say it), the Enterprise is nearly destroyed by some powerful alien attackers. After the ship crashes on a nearby planet, the crew gets marooned and teams up with a warrior chick that looks like a God of War concept character. Conveniently enough, the warrior's people are being enslaved by the same alien attackers. We then see a barrage of action scenes full of choreographed fights and CG visuals. The leader of the attackers (Idris Elba, Pacific Rim) looks and sounds like Lou Gossett Jr.'s alien from Enemy Mine (1985), and the warrior chick sounds like Penelope Cruz (Vanilla Sky). Is that bad? We shall see.

My Prediction- Either this will be a brainless popcorn flick, or there just might be some juice left to squeeze out of this franchise. My biggest question, is why is it called Beyond? They're stuck on a damn planet the whole time! Are they going Beyond the rocks and trees? Beyond Spock's tantrums? Or are they going Beyond Kirk's sexuality? Sorry, I meant Sulu's. Director Justin Lin knows how to make action movies, and he was smart enough to know when to leave the Fast & Furious series. So I think that Star Trek Beyond will not be a Piece Of Bantha Poodoo. Wrong space franchise. I meant, Tribble Shit.

Mike's Take - 
I'm not a fan of Justin Lin, I believe that he his one of these director's that thinks in terms of action and special effects and little in the way of characters and story. Star Trek Beyond looks impressive, but it seems that it's just another take on the Star Trek III The Search For Spock idea. Where the crew gets abandoned on a desolate world and has to fight to survive against the elements, Klingons (at least in the original film) or whatever bad guy they have come up with and finally, they are able to get help when someone from Kirk's past (or Spocks past) arrives just in time to save them. After the SOS beacon has been sent by Enterprise, of course.

They managed to resurrect the "Kirk meets Spock at the Academy" idea, why can't they do the same for the Federation/Klingon war idea that they also had and were trying to make? After Into Darkness, where we meet Khan and the awful ending with the Death Star type Federation ship that Kirk and the Enterprise crew had to fight, wouldn't the idea of going back to basics be the best thing? Think about it, a Federation-Klingon war?

But no, we get another Star Trek story where amazing things happen that shouldn't happen because Scotty is a badass mathematician and Kirk and Spock are at odds with each other until the last part of the movie where they become friends. Again. I hope Simon Peggs script is brilliant. Please.

It won't suck, but these movies are starting to lose their flavor.

Star Trek Beyond Piece Of Shit Or Not? pic2

Star Trek: Beyond (2016)
PG-13 | 2h 2min | ActionAdventureSci-Fi | 22 July 2016 (USA)
The U.S.S. Enterprise crew explores the furthest reaches of uncharted space, where they encounter a new ruthless enemy, who puts them, and everything the Federation stands for, to the test.

Director: Justin Lin
Writers: Simon Pegg, Doug Jung
Stars: Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Karl Urban