Thursday, October 5, 2017

Piece Of Shit Or Not?- Blade Runner 2049

Piece Of Shit Or Not?- Blade Runner 2049
The face anyone would make if they had to wait thirty-five freakin years for a proper sequel.

Joe's Take-
The smog has gotten worse in California by the year 2049, and Mr. Heartthrob has to somehow locate a makeup-less Drax while sifting through it. Is Drax a robot? Probably, and Mr. Heartthrob has to take him down. Cut to a depressed guy who looks like white Jesus, but talks like he was raised on Confucius. Sad Jesus has been making robotic replicants of humans, and is calmly upset that he can't make them faster. In the meanwhile, Mr. Heartthrob searches through deserts and Joel Schumacher (Batman Forever) inspired statues when he comes across Mumbles, a former cop like him but hiding from an assassination attempt. Together they try to uncover Sad Jesus's nefarious plans before his German dominatrix hit lady catches up to them. Will they succeed? Will the sun ever clearly shine? And will Sad Jesus even make a whimper if he fails? Namaste.

My Prediction- My current favorite director (Denis Villeneuve, Sicario), a detailed futuristic backdrop, and Harrison Ford getting more lines in the trailer than he did in the entire length of the original? Hell yes, I'm interested! Without a doubt, I believe that this will be a superior sequel to the cult classic from 1982 in every way that counts. Of course, that may not be too difficult (my opinion on the original will be withheld until my upcoming review). Well worth the wait, Blade Runner 2049 will not be a Sluggishly Paced, Depthless, Meandering Piece Of Shit.

Mike's Take
35 years, multiple directors and we finally get a sequel that looks... well it LOOKS pretty. It has Harrison Ford in it, also that guy that played the Joker in Suicide Squad and Ryan Gosling. Hopefully we won't get a studio cut, a director's cut, a new director's cut, the final cut, the sorta-final cut, the TV edit cut, the Harrison Ford cut, the Ryan Gosling edit, The Ridley Scott "Tony Scott In Memorium Cut" or a "one of the producers thought this would be a good idea" cut.
Truth be told, this actually looks pretty good, but I've been plenty wrong before.
It won't be a piece of shit.

Blade Runner 2049 (2017)
R | 2h 43min | Sci-Fi, Thriller | 6 October 2017 (USA)

A young blade runner's discovery of a long-buried secret leads him to track down former blade runner Rick Deckard, who's been missing for thirty years.
Director: Denis Villeneuve
Writers: Hampton Fancher (screenplay by), Michael Green (screenplay by)

Stars: Harrison Ford, Ryan Gosling, Ana de Armas 


  1. Just watched it and thought it was utter, utter shit.

  2. Was it the whole movie or just parts of it? What, in your opinion, made it utter shit? We're interested to know.

    I thought the movie had its issues, Goslings character is a replicant with implanted memories of a real person. Jared Leto's character was all sorts of unnecessary and detrimental to the story. IMHO.

    1. I can explain why this movie is "utter shit" if my knowledge of english let me(not my natural language).

      First: this movie dont use the original Vangelis music... instead a cheap version of it and the not inclusion of the fianl theme of the original is a sin...

      Second: I find the background and scenery of the film pretty dull and boring... not cyberpunk at all like the original was... full ilumination of the scenes and not a clever use of shadows makes this movie much lighter than the original...another sin...Blade Runner need to be a dark movie in every sense

      Tercero: the world dont look oppresive, depressing and polluted like the original movie and book try to show... whit most of the scenes at what appear to be night or absence of the sun... only iluminated by the light of the advertising...instead in this last movie looks like the general condition improve... whit not so crowded streets, beautifull hookers in every corner and beatifull, pure white snowfalls... not so much excuses for going OFFWORLD...

      Fourth: obscene use of CGI in every scene... like most of the films of today when your are in lack of script you must appeal, without shyness, to the use of computer animation... thats seems to be excuse enough to make a movie today...any movie...

      Fifth: the movie is slow, confused and very very boring... i must have seen the original like 10 times by now... i never feel bored (and is not an action movie!) unlike this last overrated "utter shit" of 150 millons dollars... 2049 appears to be the actual lenght of this movie.

      Just my opinion... but if you like the movie thats ok too... i agree on what you say about Jared Leto performance

      PD: Im not Fr3d... i want to read his opinion too.

    2. this is anothe guy who, i think, feel pretty much the same about the movie...